Appreciating the process

24 Jan

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI’m the type who believes you have to go after what you want; Nothing in life is simply given to you.

What I didn’t know is these same rules just don’t always apply when it comes to affairs of the heart.

I know first hand what its like to try to wrangle the heart of a “potential”  – what I call the guy who has just everything I want and he could potentially be the one. I like to believe I’m open and that I keep it real, but the fact is I’m scared to really let my guard down and be vulnerable to something new and different.  There’s a little bit of barbed wire around my heart and its there to protect me from ever truly believing that I could be someone’s girlfriend or their wife. I’ve been out of the dating scene for so long I cringe at the thought of my last real relationship – 9 years ago this year! Really, that was almost as long ago as the last time I was physically active (some correlation, right?).

Someone told me recently that I over-think things. Another friend said I always plan things and need to learn to relax. Okay, I hear that. I respect it. The problem is how do you turn it off? Learning how to turn your work life off in your personal life is something I just haven’t grasped yet. It’s not that I couldn’t see what they meant, I just didn’t understand what the harm was in knowing what you want and going after it. There are things I want to know and to do and I’ve been pretty successful this far in life at going after them, somehow, along the way, my fear of commitment has turned into cynicism and my inquisitive mind was turning me into someone who was inconsiderate and selfish.  I see now my questions and actions were mental sabotage. I just couldn’t believe someone would be interested in me without trying to get something from me physically.  Before today I just wasn’t getting it. And then it happened to me.

A few months ago I joined an online dating web site. Some girlfriends of mine were going on and on about the men they met, so I figured why not join too. After weeks of no e-mails and no real interest suddenly my e-mail box is buzzing with activity. I blush thinking of my last e-mail declaring I “caught his eye” and how refreshing it was to meet a down to earth woman like myself.   The other messages I’ve received have been equally nice, but today’s e-mail really took the cake. I just had to laugh out loud because it was exactly the type of e-mail I would have sent to someone I’m interested in. It was the weirdest thing!

His e-mail was a barrage of questions with no real substance. He wanted to know when was my last date and when was my  last “meet and greet”?  When was my last serious and committed relationship?  Did I want to exchange telephone numbers? Right off the bat my initial response was ‘whoa , whoa wait a minute!’ I don’t even know where to begin answering all of his questions and honesty I don’t think I will. It’s just too much.. too calculated and impersonal; all of the things that could describe how I was.  I guess what really bothered me was just this feeling of being rushed. What ever happened to enjoying the moment? Why rush?

I don’t want to rush any more or plan it..I just want to enjoy the ride.  I don’t want a microwave career and I certainly don’t want a microwave relationship. Just like with food, sometimes the best recipes take time to perfect.  I don’t want to miss out on those opportunities where God is trying to mess up my plan to get me to see His. I do have time to enjoy my life and to watch things evolve before my eyes. And it will happen. My faith is increasing everyday. I love the quote that says,  ” I have the time to take my time.”  I’m learning.

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It’s Been Seven Years?!?

6 Jan

I did my own hair - a New Year's goal

I still can’t believe it’s been seven whole years since I’ve been physically active. When I said those words today to my personal trainer I laughed then thought quietly to myself as he scribbled down notes. Seven years ago I was in active in marching band and then that changed on December 2003. That month I came home to live with my mom and my sister and I sorta died. You would think graduating from college would be where life began, but it didn’t for me. Instead I worked at a job that I eventually didn’t love anymore and I fell into a boring routine that didn’t include exercise. I tried joining gyms and I even did a series of starts and stops as a member of Weight Watchers; all of which would have worked if I had one key element: motivation. I guess in some aspects I did have motivation. I wanted to be attractive and fit into smaller jeans. All of my life I’ve wanted things based on what other people had and today I’m 28 and I’m asking myself what do I really have to show for myself as a person? How have I really grown in the last decade from 2000 to 2010?

Sitting in front of my personal trainer, I had to face the reality of who I am. I am a lazy, unmotivated person who wants results but doesn’t put the work in to achieve them. I know this sounds harsh, but for me its the truth. And I want to change, but this time for me.  For as long as I can remember I’ve had so many issues with my looks and my weight and I simply haven’t been comfortable in my own skin.

Self-esteem, self-confidence and self-motivation all begin with the key ingredient for success – self! I realized today I don’t want my to spend the next decade of my life dealing with these issues. In seven or 10 years I want to be confident in who I am.

So, for the next year I will begin a journey of self-discovery. My first step on this road is to finally put the work in to lose weight. Here’s the plan my trainer and I developed for the next five months:

Two months – Lose 16-20 lbs.

Five months – 30-40 lbs.

Long term – 80 lbs.

Final target weight – 150 lbs.

I know these are pretty lofty goals, but my short term goal is to start going to my gym at least three times per week with a possible fourth on the weekends. I’ve already worked out twice just this week. Sure, I could only walk on the treadmill at 1.5 mph, but the point is I walked for 50 mins longer than I have for the past seven years. This is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life and I’m looking forward to every moment of it. I’m already looking forward to my next training session on Thursday, Jan. 7th at 7 p.m.

My next step will be figuring out my work out schedule and figuring out fun and different ways to stretch my mind and my body outside of this seven-year snooze.

Advice Contest Rules

20 Dec

Thank you for submitting your advice for the Go Get IT Girl readers!

What is your advice for goal-setters seeking to go after their dreams in 2010?

Contest Rules:

  1. Posts must make sense. Please give advice that the average person will comprehend. If I read it and can’t understand then more than likely others won’t either.
  2. Please only one post per person, so make your one post good!
  3. All advice must be  posted in the comments section by Dec. 23rd. Responses must go on the “What are you going after in 2010?” blog. Any responses posted to the rules section will be disqualified.
  4. Winner will be randomly selected.  Names in a hat… you know the odds.
  5. Winner will be announced on Dec. 24th. Winner must respond with their contact information by Jan. 5th.

What are you going after in 2010?

20 Dec

Francesco Marino / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Post your advice on going after goals for the opportunity to win a $25 gift card from Target! Here are the contest rules.

For me, the days after Christmas are spent doing alot of writing and thinking.

My routine has been the same since I was a teenager:  I’d sit and write out everything I want to do for the year. Then I would post them around my room to stare at for the rest of the year. Only problem is these goals never came with steps, deadlines (if required) or milestone markers. Often the first time I wrote them would be the last time I even considered what my goals were. Even though they were right on my wall. I realize 365 days is a long time, but it goes by quickly.  Seems like every year around this time I think ‘where did the year go?’

I want to do something different for 2010. I don’t know about you but I’m just tired of same ol’ resolution thing with no results!  I love the quote “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”  It’s time to plan!

I look at 2009 and I’m excited about all of my accomplishments (relocating to DC, new job, new car, starting this blog…) One thing I realized is I need to go after more in 2010. Maybe you have goals you’d like to achieve but you don’t know how.

Knowing your goals is great, but what are the steps to achieving them? I look forward to receiving your advice (and announcing the winner) on ways to go after your dreams in 2010. Look for results on Dec. 24th!

By the way,  hope you like the new design!

Happy Holidays,

Maria


Holiday Articles

15 Dec

Go Get IT Girl is about to expand – I’ll keep you posted on all the wonderful things I have planned, but in the meantime -check out my latest articles:

Managing Your Money This Holiday Season

Holiday Shopping Good Reminder for Building Great Client Relationships

Updates!

8 Nov

Wow has it really been July since I last made a post to my wonderful blog? Sheesh where has the time gone. Well, I apologize for the delay, but I do have great things to share:

  • My internship with Edelman ended in October 9th and I was hired full-time as a Account Coordinator with Equals Three Communications the same day!
  • I moved from a basement room in Upper Marlboro into a house in Washington, DC just last week.

My head is still spining from all the changes, but they’re much needed changes for my growth. Over the weekend I finally unpacked my boxes from the move and now my bedroom actually resembles a place of solitude and peace rather than a storage facility.

So life is good!

Can you believe its almost 2010?  What are your goals for the next year? E-mail me your goals at mariajamespr@gmail.com or leave your comments here. I’d love to feature them on Wednesday!

Blessings,

Maria

Declare Your Independence!

5 Jul
Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July

Happy Independence Day! Although the celebrations are winding down I realized Independence Day can mean so much more than the typical national holiday. I’ve decided to declare an Independence Day of my own.

As corky as this sounds, every year on July 4 while the nation celebrations, I came up with the idea to celebrate myself and my own declaration of independence.  Ne-Yo’s Miss Independent is one of my favorite songs because it encourages me to continue being that type of woman – one who pays bills on time, knows how to command respect and keeps it all together. Whether single or married I believe every woman should become the type of woman who knows how to handle her own.  I say single AND married because it bothers me when married women lose their independence then when the divorce happens they end up with the short stick – they don’t know how much money or assets they have and they gave up their career and skills to further their husbands.  While I agree marriage does mean sharing and commitment, I don’t believe it should come at the expense of your common sense or your independence – maybe that’s just a dream. Married ladies let me know!  

But I digress. 

This July 4th I initally wanted to hang out and do things with others, but I realized the one thing I love about myself is my confidence to do things on my own.  Some people are amazed I’m able to go to the movies or out to dinner all by myself, but it doesn’t bother me one bit.  As I made my way solo to downtown DC, it dawned on me that this too was my personal day of celebration.  Moving to a new state, starting a new job, moving into my first place and finding my way around the “big city”  were all major steps in my journey towards independence.  Saturday I was determined to fight through the crowds to watch the fireworks on the national mall and I did it. I’m convinced being an independent woman is all about realizing just how powerful you truly are. Remember when your parents told you “you can do anything you put your mind to?”  Why did we stop believing those words?  I find that the longer you sit around and wait – as I started to do on Saturday – the quicker life will pass you by. Just as I sat at home I noticed that time waits for no man or woman.  So what are you waiting for? In each blog, I want to ask that question to get you thinking. What are YOU waiting for before you go declare you own indepencence?

Select a date and celebrate your own independence day.  Celebrate those wonderful personal achievements every year – make it as big or as small as you’d like. I’m already working on my plans for next year’s celebration. Let’s just say I’m itching to do some traveling.

Pick your day and let me know how you’re celebrating! And Happy 4th of July!