I think the biggest dread I have about turning 30 is that I’m still single and child-less and 2012 will mark the 10th anniversary of my time in singledom. Can I just be honest? It stinks.
I know I should be happy and enjoy this time in my life, but 10 years sure is a long time. I feel like God has forgotten all about me in this area of my life. Like I’m drowning in a pool and he is the lifeguard looking down too busy to save me. And when I see all the wonderful pictures of my friends and family in relationships, getting married and having children, I can’t help but wonder if it will ever be me. Right now, it doesn’t feel like it ever will.
Recently a former classmate mentioned that it’s time for me to start having babies. The only problem with that theory is that I’m not looking for just a sperm donor. I want a husband. When people say stuff like that they don’t realize its really not helpful.
Turning 30 makes me realize that realistically I have about 10-15 years left to safely carry and give birth to a child. I know people are having children well into their 50’s, but honestly who wants to be 70 when their child is graduating from high school?
I wonder sometimes if I just need to face the reality that I may have to either settle for just some man or be content living life all alone. Part of me just wants to shut my heart off completely and just make the decision for myself to be alone. That seems like an easy answer, but I’d just be lying to myself. Its difficult when your heart wants something that feels so far away. Even though I want to give up all hope that love will ever happen for me, I still have hope. I don’t want to become so jaded by the lack of love that I miss out on what’s in front of me.
The difficult part about being a go-getter is realizing there are some areas of life that you simply can’t control. The question is, can you accept that in life there will be things you can’t control?
Singles: What works for you when you feel down about your love-life?
If you’re in a relationship: What was it that worked for you? How did you meet that special person and what advice would you give to others who are looking?