When I was growing up my mother never allowed my sister and I to say the word ‘I can’t.’ If I ever struggled doing something and grew frustrated the first words out of my mouth were ‘I can’t.’ Hearing these words upset my mother. She never wanted me to be satisfied with giving up. Instead, she wanted me to use my brain and figure it out.

Too many times we talk ourselves out of things. We say ‘I can’t’ with our words and sometimes with just our actions.  If you aren’t sure you’re the type of person who does this, just ask your friends. I had a talk with a good friend who basically told me that my negativity towards myself was very unattractive. Wow! His harsh words were just the bitter medicine I needed. Nobody likes to be around a negative Nelly!  If someone says your talented, beautiful, or just that you have on a cute outfit etc… learn to say thank you and leave out the negativity. Don’t counter their compliments with your own negative thoughts. We teach people how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.

I find that I’m a positive person when it concerns other people, but when it comes to being encouraging and positive towards myself it’s a challenge. Negative self-talk isn’t just internal. It’s like poison that touches ever aspect of your life – from work to church and among friends and family.

After this conversation with my friend I decided I would re-evaluate how I view myself. I needed to treat myself better.

What if the key to my success was simply just saying it and believing it? I plan to find out. It all starts with a strong foundation. For the next few weeks I plan to speak life over myself and my goals. I will live and speak success.

Tonight I’m going to look in the mirror and I’m going to tell myself I’m beautiful. Then I’ll do the same thing in the morning too. Over the weekend I’ll write out some daily affirmations and I’ll share some great affirmations I’ve found on the blog this coming Sunday.

Talk Back: Have you experienced times where you had to encourage yourself? How has positive thinking changed your life?

Here’s a song I listen to this week by Gospel artist Donald Lawrence called “Let the Word Do the Work” that really touches on the power of our words. If you aren’t jamming at the end of it then something’s seriously wrong..ha!  Check it out here: http://youtu.be/pl0ld7anIC8

Photos provided by Kia Jefferson

Quick Snapshot

Name: Kia Jefferson

Current Location: Washington, DC Metro Area

Type of Job Wanted: Public Relations/Communications/Marketing

Willing to Relocate: Yes

Click here for Kia’s Resume

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Q: Tell us a bit about you

A: I guess my story starts with BET.  I don’t know what age I was, but I was young…perhaps middle school.  BET came on only at night and I would stay over my girlfriend’s house to watch.  Donnie Simpson, Sherry Carter….those Video Soul episodes did something to me. Years later in high school – it was Oprah.  This black woman had her own show on a major network.  Wow!  I then started seriously considering a career in communications. Everyone, my family included, thought such a career would not be steady but I wouldn’t take no for an answer.  I went on to graduate from Lincoln University in Pennsylvania and at that time they didn’t have a Communications Department – I had to take all my courses at Temple University in Philadelphia my junior year.  The program was competitive and expensive but I didn’t let that stop me.  Since Lincoln didn’t have a communications department, I was on my own to find my own internships and mentors.   I went on to become a National Association of Black Journalist (NABJ) intern and was placed in Missouri the summer upon graduation – I even won an anchor spot (one of two) during their yearly convention. After that and an entry level job in television (Production Assistant), I landed a job in Public Relations in my hometown of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. After 3 years of sending my resume to BET – once on a coffee mug in a recipe format,  I eventually got in – as a temp. in BET’s tape library.  Everybody thought I was crazy but I knew my gamble would eventually pay off.  I left my family and friends behind and move to the outskirts of Washington, DC.  After a year of shoveling tapes I landed in the marketing department.  I was now booking events with Sherry Carter- the same personality that captured my interest in childhood.  I was laid off in 2001, rehired in 2007 and then laid off again in 2010 when the BET.com restructured due to the economy.

Q: What are you doing now?

A: Since then, I have been job searching. Monday- Friday, I get up like I am going to work and I am on the computer – searching websites, sending out resumes, re-connecting and networking.  I have been fortunate to land some clients and have started a consulting business, Creative Consulting, but the work is not steady.

Q: What would be your ideal job?

A: My ideal job would be one that has some type of creative element and is primarily in the communications or marketing department.  This element can be found in a variety industries (Non Profit, Private, etc). Example- writing proposals, researching demographics, working with clients, promoting/coordinating events.  I would love to have a voice for a multicultural project or an organization that values the voice of an underserved population.

Q: Tell us something unique about you

A: In 2005, I was hand selected among 1,000 applicants to be on the Barbie Collector panel in LA.  As an avid black Barbie collector, this was a dream come true.  At that time, I had the idea to pitch Mattel on an African American sorority series.  As my sorority’s centennial approached, Alpha Kappa Alpha (AKA), I focused my efforts on an AKA Barbie.  After 3 years of pitching, researching and keeping in touch with the marketing professionals at Mattel, the AKA barbie was born.  To date, that is my proudest accomplishment.  It confirmed that my love for ethnic marketing, my ideas and today’s multicultural audience are all relevant.

Read the article: BET Article- Barbie Shows up at AKA Rush
http://www.bet.com/news/news/2008/02/11/newsarticlealphakappaalphabarbie.html

Connect with Kia directly on LINKEDIN

All three blogs struck a chord in my soul and each has helped guide me on my journey to live boldly and fearlessly this year.

Check out what I’m reading:

Black and Married with Kids.com -
Life Comes Full Circle

Why I like this blog: The author, Shira Williams, takes personal responsibility for her role in a series of bad relationships. Although she starts out feeling depressed, she decides enough is enough and slowly begins to live again. Day-by-day Shira learns to find herself  through prayer and writes about changes in a prayer journal.

I can relate to the author’s feelings and I like how her turning point comes after recognizing a negative pattern in HER choices. She then decides to do something different.

This week’s Go Get IT Girl is Rochelle Yanique, a woman who listened to her entrepreneurial spirit and started her own business. 

If I was asked 5 years ago what I’d be today, I would probably never say entrepreneur. I always loved politics and as president of my student government in high school, I knew I would be working in government. I still have my passion for politics, but I found that my natural talent of styling hair could serve as a means to make money while in school.

The motivation to start my own company came while I was a graduate student at the University of Miami. With little money, I had to find creative ways to keep up with the latest trends. Having already acquired basic knowledge about hair from years of going to the hair salon, I started to blog about different techniques I would try. Before long, word about my techniques and the fact that I could do hair spread fast on campus.

 Today, I enjoy the best of both worlds. I have a great career in government and I also have the opportunity to educate others about my passion for hair styling. Through my blog (www.iamrochelle.com ) I offer invaluable information for young women who like me, are searching for inexpensive ways to keep up with the latest hair trends. 

The motto that I live by is “The Fear of God is the Beginning of Knowledge”– no amount of formal education can be equated to the understanding of the power of God.

I came into 2012 with a mental itch. Something bothered me about the past few years of my life, so I grabbed a journal and began to just write over the Christmas holiday. I had to discover where this irritant was coming from.

I figured out the thing that bothered about the past few years was that I’d stopped living and my soul was saying enough is enough.

When I reviewed my life to come up with my goals and desires for the new year I noticed a common thread – fear. I let fear drive my decisions and that’s a miserable life.  The one thing I knew was I wasn’t happy because I wasn’t being Maria.

The Maria I knew was the little girl in Kindergarten had enough of being last in line and decided today was the day she would be first in line. Who took the argument for why she should be first to the teacher and then cried to prove how passionate she was (hey, by any means necessary, right?). It worked!

The Maria I knew didn’t know much about stepping, but boldly auditioned for the Society Step Team in high school (and made the team), took on the role of editor of her high school newspaper and signed up for Trigonometry the last semester of my senior year –  even at the dismay of my mother since Math had been my weakest subject (and passed with a B).

The Maria I knew confidently walked into the School of Communication orientation my Freshman year of college and told the head of the department that she would be the editor of the school newspaper (it happened).  The Maria I knew walked boldly. She was confident and tackled challenges head on. Where was she? Wherever she was I knew wanted her back!

More importantly, who told her she couldn’t? Who told ME that I couldn’t be what I wanted to be and accomplish what I desired? And why did I listen? On Sunday I watched a YouTube video of Bishop  T.D. Jakes discussing how fear is holding us back.

I encourage you to click the link above and listen for yourself. I certainly was inspired.

Here are a few poignant words from the video that motivated me:

I decided to go into the next year with the following theme:  Going Big in 2012 – Be Bold. Live Fearlessly. I’ll spend this year on a journey to reconnect with Maria again.  I hope my journey inspires you on your own path to pursue your goals and dreams fearlessly.

This year the Go Get IT Girl blog will feature more articles geared towards helping you do just that. Go for it! The blog will now be updated every Tuesday and Thursday.

Sound off: Tell us what goals your going after in 2012? 

Growing up in the Bronx, New York, the Priceless Project founder, and school social worker, I (Ruby L. Taylor, M.S.W.) know first-hand what happens when a young women does not feel worthy and lack self-esteem. Having been sexually abused, dealing with the murder of my brother at 14 years old, and having a speech impediment made me feel unworthy throughout adolescents. As a result I was on the verge of failing out of high school and living a life I did not desire. Until one day Crystal Russell, a high school friend invited me to a dinner for high achieving New York City high schools students at the Marriot Marquis with the Attorney General Janet Reno.

That night seating with high achieving students from various NYC public high schools exposed me to possibilities. I realized I was worth being invited to an event for honor students; even though I was not an honor student. I was worthy of graduating high school. I was worthy of attending college and going after my goals. The one night of possibility changed my life view forever. It took the life of pain and hurt and turned it into a life of healing, hope and joy. I realized I was priceless, no matter what.

Today’s women and young ladies face innumerable challenges. The Priceless Project™ believes that women and young ladies can better meet those challenges by having high self-worth and a sense of purpose, using the principles of personal development, goal setting, dream-building, and self-motivation.

According to the Dove Campaign’s “Real Truth about Beauty: Global Study (2005),” Ninety-two percent of teen girls would like to change something about the way they look, with body weight ranking the highest.

The image of ‘Woman’ as having a certain look, wearing fashionable clothes and weighing a certain amount has created a poor self-image and the lack of the female priceless spirit. Media messages and even well-intended parental and teacher comments can convey the message that young women are valued for their looks, rather than their talents, voice, and character.

Ruby speaking to a group of women.

Organizations across the country and the world are emerging to fight this cultural bias and remind girls and young women that their lives matter, that they are more than their looks, and they are worthy of good things and being protected. Some initiatives taking place are the United Nations organization Girl Up, The Girl’s Guide to Swagger Movement, Eve’s Circle and many more; Also, President Obama created White House Council on Girls and Women in 2009!

Healthy self-esteem is a teenage girl’s shield against the struggles and challenges of life. When teenage girls embrace their priceless value and/or self-esteem is high, they are able to triumph over many adversities life throws at them. Today’s teenage girls face innumerable challenges. They face discrimination, gender bias, sexual exploitation, teenage pregnancy, family problems, drug and alcohol abuse, school issues, sexual harassment, domestic abuse, Facebook drama, bullying, eating disorders, image distortion and many more obstacles. In order for teenage girls to use coping skills to grow throw every life struggles they will face, they must know they are worthy.

To empower teenage girls to embrace their true self-worth The Priceless Project started a Kickstarter Campaign. Only 60% of projects are accepted to be a part of KICKSTARTER and The Priceless Project was one of the 60%. The Priceless Project http://kck.st/sqU0P1 is passionate and driven to increase self-worth in teenage girls. We are working hard at getting The Priceless Project book designed, printed and in the hands of at least 100 teenage girls, in urban communities, for FREE.

The Priceless Project Book is full of encouragement to uplift the female priceless spirit. The book includes real-life stories, given hope, inspiration, and guidance to overcome life challenges, and increase self-worth for young women and girls 12 to 19 years old. With a successful Kickstarter Campaign we will have the resources to design, print and give books to teenage girls for free.

Week 1 we had 0 backers and 0 dollars.

Week 2 we had $272 and 69 Likes on Facebook.

Week 3 we have 19 backers, $742 and 242 Likes on Facebook.

5 more weeks to go!

Every pledge comes with thank you gifts and will bring us one step closer to our goal and the no money will taken out of a supporter account until December 31^st, 2011.

There is some risk involved in fundraising through Kickstarter.com. The site has an all-or-nothing mentality, requiring a set time span to fund projects. The Priceless Project has until New Year’s Eve December 31, 2011 to raise $2,500 or else all donations are nullified.

I know there are risks, but I have faith that our goal will be reached.  Will you help me empower teenage girls TODAY?

Syds Design Photography

I’ve always been a very creative person.  As a child, I embraced the arts and continued to embrace and nurture my artistic abilities into adulthood, so in 2010 when I decided to transform my hobby for jewelry making into a business, Handmade By Patrice, it came as no surprise to those who’ve known me for years.

My road to jewelry making was very untraditional. I’ve never had formal training, but have always been the type of person that if I saw something, I could mentally develop a pattern for creating it by just looking at it. Therefore, my visual ability to store a mental design layout coupled with a passion for jewelry making, I was well on my way to doing what I love and turning a profit.

This year, I’m happy to say that I’m having a great time, sharing my work with the world. I’ve had the opportunity to serve as a vendor at various artisan markets in the Washington DC, metropolitan area; host my first trunk show at a retail store in Bowie, MD, established partnerships with other merchants to sell my items via their online marketplace; and most recently, I’ve tapped into the international market and will have one of a kind handmade beads directly shipped from Ghana, Africa to be used for creating pieces for my collection.

The future has so much in store.

In the spring of 2012, I will launch Art Culture and Cocktails, an event taking place in Washington, DC that will feature local artisans who will be showcasing and selling their crafts. In addition to bringing amazing artisans under one roof, this event will feature a performance by a local spoken word artist, light fare and cocktails. For those interested in serving as a vendor can contact me via my personal email address at preneewashington@yahoo.com. More information about this event is forthcoming, with its first announcement being posted on the Facebook fan page for my jewelry line, www.facebook.com/handmadebypatrice.

My advice to everyone reading this and those who want to test the water of something new is, “JUST GO FOR IT”. Where there is passion the possibilities are endless. Follow your heart and dreams because greatness is surely to accompany it.

Here are some photos of my jewerly:

Syds Design Photography/Model: Ameera Mina

Syds Design Photography/Model: Ameera Mina

Syds Design Photography

Syds Design Photography

My sisters were my peers but at critical moments, they were also my best friends, confidants and mentors.   When I first began competitive swimming, I can still remember my all-star swimmer of a sister, Elizabeth, instructing me on how to perfect my stroke.  She would make me practice it over and over again until it was exactly right!  When troublesome girls in junior high started spreading gossip about me, my cooler sister, Erin, told me to ignore the rumors.  She then set those girls straight and made sure no one talked about her little sister again!  I had my sensitive sister, Meagan, there for me, too, when my heart got broken in high school.  I recall her telling me not to sweat an ex-boyfriend, that what was meant to be would be.  Wise advice!  And I also had my studious sister, Andrea, there for me during college application time.  She would proofread all my college essays, scribbling notes in the margin how to make each one better.

I was fortunate to have my sisters guide me in my decisions and inspire me to be the best person I could be.  I know there are lots of young girls out there without role models and I truly admire organizations that specifically focus on empowering girls with mentors.  They are making a big impact because I know firsthand the positive result mentors can have on a girl’s self-esteem and motivation.  So, I want to share a few of my favorite organizations that I think are making a difference in very unique ways…

Girls on the Run

http://www.girlsontherun.org/

Girls on the Run was founded in 1993 by Molly Barker, a four-time Hawaiian Ironman triathlete, as a way to help young girls develop a greater sense of identity, self-respect and healthy body image through the sport of running.  She first piloted a 12-week, 24-lesson curriculum – based on self-esteem enhancing, uplifting workouts – with 13 brave girls between the ages of 8 and 13 in Charleston, NC.  The pilot culminated in a non-competitive 5k fun run for the girls.  And Molly hasn’t looked back since.  In 2000, Girls on the Run became a 501(c) organization.  Today, the program is offered in 173 cities in North America, serving 80,000 girls in 2010 alone.

Row New York

http://www.rownewyork.org/

I also love the concept behind Row New York.  Its founder, Amanda Kraus, started the organization in 2002.  She wanted to give under-privileged girls in New York City exposure to the same invaluable lessons she had while rowing in college – teamwork, tenacity and commitment to self.  But off the water, Kraus is helping the girls succeed with tutoring and academic support.  The program began with one borrowed boat and eight young girls ready to row.  Today, the program gives opportunities to over 300 rowers and 100 percent of participants go on to college, many with scholarship for rowing and academics.

WriteGirl

http://www.writegirl.org/

As someone who enjoys writing, I wish WriteGirl was around when I was younger. The group was launched in December 2001 to bring one-on-one creative writing workshops and mentoring programs to teenage girls.  Professional women writers help girls explore the craft of writing in a wide variety of genres – poetry, fiction, creative non-fiction, songwriting, journalism, screenwriting, playwriting, editing and more. WriteGirl mentors do this while also focusing on promoting healthy behaviors through their mentoring relationships.  And it all seems to be paying off.  For the tenth year in a row, WriteGirl has sent 100% of its seniors to college, many on full or partial scholarships.

Is there an organization that focuses on empowering girls that you love?  

If so, take the time to volunteer with the group!  If you, too, had a strong female role model in your life – you know the impact that it can have on a young person.  Not sure where to start?  There are many organizations that empower and nurture girls to be the best they can be through all sorts of activities – tutoring, music, dance, theater, the list goes on.  But what counts is just spending time with a young person.  An easy place to begin your search would be your local Boys and Girls Club, community center or Big Brothers, Big Sisters.

I love being able to help young woman advance whether it be in sports, academics or in their careers.  If the opportunity is there, I step forward.  I know I have an obligation to be a good role model, just as my sisters once were to me.  I think they would be proud to know that their little sister is paying it forward for the guidance she received from them as a young person.  Now let’s just hope they forgive me for all those times I borrowed their favorite shirt, skirt or sweater without permission!

M. Cavanaugh is freelance writer based in New York City.

Here are some of the messages from Facebook that tickled my fancy:

Whenever I begin my personal pity party over why my life is the way it is, I remember that my life is its own journey. I envisioned I’d be married with 2.5 kids right now, but for some reason God has my journey on a different path.  I’m learning not to compare my journey with others.

This is my personal mantra for 2011! I adapted this statement in January because I recognized that these simple words affirm that I am in charge of what I do. My personal belief in God tells me that he will order my steps, but even with his road map it’s up to me to follow the path that’s set before me.

Wow! What an affirmation. Sometimes I feel like my prayers are just going into a black hole, but then I have to remember why I’m praying in the first place. I pray because I have faith that God cares for me and that He does want the best for my life. Sometimes it helps to have a reminder that I’m not wasting my time.

With all the serious images above I wanted to throw this one in for fun.

It’s amazing how many women have low self-esteem because they don’t feel they are what society has said is attractive. I love this message because it reminds me that self-confidence is sexy and that there is someone for everybody (and in my case hopefully someone who doesn’t mind curves.).

I’d love to hear what messages you’ve seen lately. Did you like them? If so, why or why not?

Succeeding Against The Odds: My 10 Miler Experience

On Sunday, October 9^th2011, I embarked upon something that I have never done before.  I participated in the Army Ten Miler Race.  This race began and ended at the Pentagon.

We ran across bridges, through Washington,DC and downtown landmarks and back toVirginia.  While I’ve always wanted to run this race, something always stopped me.  Myself.  I never thought I could do it.  To me, running 10 miles seemed unimaginable. You see, as a child and throughout my teenage years, I was never athletic – well I was on the Double Dutch (jump rope) team but that’s about it.  Being a really skinny, frail child, I was probably one of the last ones picked in sports.  As an adult, I began to see the benefits of regular exercise.  To say that exercise has changed my life would be an understatement.

As I ran the race, I kept saying to myself “just get to the halfway point and if I can make it to the halfway point – 5 miles – then I can finish this race”.  So that’s what I did.  I ran 5 miles without stopping a beat.

Let’s back up for a minute.

Two weeks ago, I ran the Navy Five Miler Race.  I didn’t do so well.  In fact, after the race, I could barely walk.  I have about 12 screws and 2 plates in my right leg from an ankle injury (broken a few years back). My right ankle was swollen and my left knee was swollen (not sure what was going on with my knee – maybe I was overcompensating for my ankle).  So a few weeks ago, I felt a bit defeated but I decided to continue my plan with the 10 miler race anyway.

I confided in very few people that I was nervous about this race.  I even confided to some people that I HATE running.  Yes, I love exercising but do not care for running at all.  So why do it?  Being a personal trainer and coach, I always tell my clients to push – even though they may not like it, push it out anyway.  How can I as a trainer, coach, mentor (or whatever fits), tell someone to push through a difficult exercise if I don’t do the same thing?  Normally, it’s much easier to do something that you like.  It’s really hard to continue to do something that you don’t like to do.  Usually, people quit before seeing or feeling results.  Well after that Five Miler Race, I wanted to quit.  I thought that I would just use the “excuse” that my ankle was bothering me or something like that.  After thinking about it and praying about it, I decided to not let the negative thinking win.

I’ve wanted to do this race for over 2 years.   I was determined to be proactive about the race.  So instead of being afraid, I went to the running store to get better support for my feet.  I ate well, got plenty of rest and listened to my body.  I began listening to the people who motivated me.  However, truth be told, I was a bit motivated by people who thought that I wouldn’t make it, or the people who thought that I was foolish, too old, not a fast runner, etc.  I even let those people motivate me too.

Well I did it!

My goal was to run 5 miles without stopping.  And I did it.  Admittedly, I felt weary after the first 3 miles, but I kept pushing.  There were people on the sidelines cheering for all of us runners.  I kept pushing.  

Finally, when I got to Mile 8, I felt like crying.  My trainer, Ron, was with me and he said, “No, don’t cry, you can do this, just two more miles”.  So I kept going.  After the ninth mile, I saw one of my email buddies, Gladys, who had run the 5 mile race a few weeks ago.  I heard her say, “GO LISA”, I was so surprised.  I felt like someone cared.  I pushed even more.  Then Ron told me, “Lisa, we are at 9 ½ miles, we have 5 minutes to get to the finish line so that you can get in under 2 hours.”  So I lifted my head and sprinted.  And I sprinted.  And I sprinted though the finish line.  My time was 1 hour, 59 minutes and 3 seconds.  I did it!  Never thought I could but I did it and made my goal.

So what’s going on in your life?   What is your race?  Have you made it through the half-way point?  Are you pushing?  Are you letting positive thoughts take over your mind or are you letting the naysayers win?  Think about it.  Push through to the end and I promise to be cheering with you, just like Gladys cheered for me!

Guest blog written by Lisa Lofty, of LOBO Fitness

Interested in being Go Get IT Girl of the Week? Email mariadjames[at]gmail.com.